Be Your Own Filter

I took a bunch of young women to an activity tonight, and it led to a great discussion with my girls about filters.  A song came on the radio that we do not listen to in our family, so my daughter immediately changed the station.  One of the young women asked if we could go back to that song and I politely replied that we do not listen to that song in our car.  I guess she didn't hear me the first time, so she said, "Please turn it back to [name of the song].  That's my jam!"  So I said it a little louder and told her that I really wasn't joking, but we do not listen to that song.

She was a bit taken back by my response.  And this is where a great discussion happened with my two girls on the way home.  We talked about how we were pretty shocked that this girl even knew the song, let alone that she thought it was one of her favorites.  The reason we were so shocked is because her parents have pretty stringent rules on media in their home.  They do not watch any PG-13 movies.  At all.  Not even the parents.  This same girl has questioned me on why I allow my own children to watch some PG-13 movies. I explained that we pick and choose what we think is appropriate to watch.  If something came on a PG movie that wasn't in harmony with those views, we would turn it off.  She seemed to accept that answer.

I'm not saying that setting rules is a bad thing.  They can be good, but if our children are relying on us to filter what they can or cannot see, or what they can or cannot listen to, they become dependent. Is that what we want?  Dependent children or can't think for themselves?  And when they are faced with something that is normally accepted, they tend to accept it no matter what.  My girls understood that they are their best filter.  They know to turn off the computer or TV, or change the radio station when something comes on that they shouldn't see or hear.

In a General Conference (April 2014) talk entitled, "Protection from Pornography--A Christ Focused Home" by Linda S. Reeves, she states,

"Filters are useful tools, but the greatest filter in the world, the only one that will ultimately work, is the personal internal filter that comes from a deep and abiding testimony of our Heavenly Father's love and our Savior's atoning sacrifice for each one of us."

Are we teaching our children to depend on the filters we've placed on our computers/phones/TV's?  Do they know what to do when faced with something inappropriate?  Are they relying on us to tell them what is right or wrong?  Or have we taught them to listen to the Holy Ghost to guide them.

 Elder Bednar ("Things As They Really Are," CES Fireside, May 3 2009) suggests that we ask ourselves this question:

"Does the use of various technologies and media invite or impede the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost in your life?"

I believe if we always ask ourselves if something invites or impedes the Holy Ghost, then we are our best filter.  And that filter is based on our testimony of God's love and Jesus Christ's sacrifice for us.

Counsel

My older sister called me this morning, and we started talking about Young Women and their organization in our church.  I am currently serving as the First Counselor in our ward, which is over the Mia Maids (14-15 year old girls).  My sister has three girls in young women's right now, so we usually have a lot to talk about.  Well, yesterday, in my niece's class, her leader was asking them what they should tell their friend who wants to get married and have a family.  She wants to put her college education on hold and begin her family.  My niece said she should pray about her decision and follow what was right for her.  The leader, however, brushed over her comment and quickly moved on to the fact that she should not marry and begin her family right away.  She told these girls that they should do all they can to finish their education and nothing is more important than that.  I couldn't believe it.  I quickly found this quote from President Ezra Taft Benson and posted it to my niece's Facebook page.  He said, 
"Young mothers and fathers, with all my heart I counsel you not to postpone having your children, being co-creators with our Father in Heaven. Do not use the reasoning of the world, such as, “We will wait until we can better afford having children, until we are more secure, until John has completed his education, until he has a better paying job, until we have a larger home, until we have obtained a few of the material conveniences,” and on and on. This is the reasoning of the world and is not pleasing in the sight of God. Mothers who enjoy good health, have your children and have them early. And,husbands, always be considerate of your wives in the bearing of children. Do not curtail the number of children for personal or selfish reasons. Material possessions, social convenience, and so-called professional advantages are nothing compared to a righteous posterity. In the eternal perspective, children--not possessions, not position, not prestige--are our greatest jewels."  (emphasis added, quoted from an annual Fireside for Parents, February 22, 1987) 
  
I don't think it can get much clearer than that.  Family is central to God's plan of salvation for His children.  I know I have learned so much as a mother, and I'm not saying that formal education is not important.  I am currently taking two college courses.  I should be finished with my bachelor's degree in about a year and a half.  This is a wonderful goal and one I am very proud of.  But nothing compares to the joy I have in my life that comes from my five children. 

Motherhood

I came across a quote today that spoke to me as if it had been written from my own heart.  Elder Neil L. Anderson used it in the October 2011 General Conference.  He was quoting a blog called desiringgod.org.  I am looking forward to perusing that blog in the near future.  The title that this particular quote came from is called, "Motherhood Is a Calling (And Where Children Rank)."  If you'd like to read the whole blog post, click here.  I loved the whole thing, but this is the part that really touched me:

Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. You do not collect children because you find them cuter than stamps. It is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in. It is what God gave you time for.