In what do you believe?

(Marriage - Week 1)

In what things do you believe “deeply and actively?” Does your schedule reflect these beliefs? 

I know many people who believe deeply and actively in sports. They never miss their favorite team’s games. They often spend many hours in the preparation of game day food and activities before the game even begins. They watch the news to catch all the scores of other games they missed. They discuss plays and highlights with friends and family. These actions support the fact that they believe deeply and actively in sports.

I believe in the family. I believe in marriage between a man and a woman. In 1980, President Spencer W. Kimball proclaimed, “The time will come when only those who believe deeply and actively in the family will be able to preserve their families in the midst of the gathering evil around us” (Ensign, Nov. 1980, 4). Now, over thirty-five years later, I believe this statement to be descriptive of our time. We must become a more actively involved people in the organization of marriage. We must believe deeply in the family.

As a stay-at-home mother, I spend most of my time supporting and strengthening my family. But I know I can further support marriage and family by being more deliberate in my mothering; by being more present in my home. Yes, physically I am always here, but am I doing all I should? Am I using my divine nature as a woman to love and nurture my family to the best of my ability? Am I setting an example for my children that I want them to follow?

Unlike sports fans, who cannot control the outcome of a game no matter how hard they try, we can support and strengthen marriage through our actions. The 2012 State of Our Unions by the University of Virginia declares, “For those convinced that stable families are critical for child well-being and thriving communities, strengthening marriage is the goal from which we will not turn away” (32). One way we can apply this in our own lives is to “realize that a good marriage does not require a perfect man or a perfect woman. It only requires a man and a woman committed to strive together toward perfection” (Dallin H. Oaks, Ensign, May 2007). Marriage is worth the effort. 

This week, I have also been reminded that each person has been given the gift of agency. No matter how much effort we put into our marriages and families, each individual is responsible for their own actions. A close friend of mine has been struggling this week. She feels like a failure in her role as mother because of the choices of her grown children. She was active and deeply involved in her family, but once her children left home, some have made choices that have made her feel as if she did not do her job well enough. This has reminded me that we must always remember to apply the healing power of the Atonement. No matter what circumstances we face, the hope and peace we can find when we apply the Atonement to our lives can help us through them.